Last night I was awake from 2-4am. I hate being awake in the night-especially during busy weeks like this one. AND it's the 3rd night in a row, on top of several previous nights of little sleep from being up for sickies. Anyway, that wasn't the point of this blog. The point was, while I've been awake I've had a lot of time to think. Now, I wouldn't say I'm a "worry-wort" or anything like that...but I do have my moments. Last night:...about the bridal shower I have coming up (I always stress about these things, and after they are done I always wonder why! Specifically this time-that I'll get what my family has and not be able to do it!) About Kaden's appointment with the ENT Specialist today...and while thinking about that Kaden would cough and I'd be reminded that his fever was still going strong and his Pediatrician told me if it went 48 more hours we needed to do more testing (we are now down to 6 hours...it's not looking hopeful!) and I just started to worry. I thought about the what-ifs. What if they want to do surgery right away... what if they can't do surgery til he's well (HE'S NEVER WELL!)...what if's about surgery...And then I would stop myself. I'd start praying (if you've been in contact with me within the last 6 months in anyway there's a good chance you got prayed for!) And it's kinda neat, God's brought several songs to my mind that I didn't even know I knew the words to! But all of that reminded me of one thing...
Matthew 6:25-34. Specifically vs 27 and 34 which read "Who of you by worry can add a single hour to his life?.....But seek first His kingdom and his righteousness..."
So many times we are told don't worry. It's wrong to worry. Just stop worrying. But how? By seeking Christ. It works. I'm here to tell you! And it's amazing how it doesn't just stop the worry...it reaps many more blessings and answered prayers. Because instead of wasting time worrying you are praying-thus having prayers to be answered! Or you're singing...and God gets to pop that song in your head that you never thought you knew (it's a blessing!) It's just so cool. The annoying thing is that the devil doesn't stop giving you something to worry about...so it's a constant battle.
This has been my constant challenge for about a year. When the gallbladder pain started and it felt like I was going to die-and no answers! Then surgery! Then tests on my heart and brain, then a lump removed-where we hoped it wasn't cancer and worried that it was. When Kate was tested for a problem with her bladder-which they had expected since I was 20 weeks pregnant. And now with all this sickness and facing yet another surgery-this time for Kaden and his tonsils. It's minor. But I tend to worry. He's my little boy-it's so hard not to! But I keep going back to these verses...
Showing posts with label prayer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label prayer. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
I Said A Little Prayer
Today I went shopping in Great Falls...ALL BY MYSELF.
I've never liked shopping alone, but after the craziness of the last month it was just what I needed. As I was driving to Ross I got to thinking about the lump I had removed a week ago. I didn't think about it a whole lot until all the festivities were over and I didn't have distraction. Then every time I moved my arm and felt the incision I wondered. The surgeon had told me NOT to expect results before Wednesday because of the holidays, and his surgery days. So I prayed. During that prayer at some point I said something to the effect of "God, I really just want to know. Could you maybe have the surgeon call me today instead of tomorrow?" It was 4pm.
I went into Ross and as I was trying on some clothes my phone rang. It was the surgeon on his cell phone. He said "Hi Bethany?" "Yes" "I usually don't call on surgery days, but I thought I should call you." slight pause: (Heart fluttering...good news? bad news???? is it GOOD if the surgeon is doing something he normally wouldn't? Or is that bad???? AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!) "I have some good news....."
What an awesome God we serve! He answered my little teeny tiny prayer from way down here among millions of prayers...
Now, one thing you need to know is that at my appointment I asked "So I'll find out if I have cancer or not?" and the surgeon said "Yes, but you will also be given a name for exactly what it is." Cool. So...he says to me "I know I told you there would be a name for what you have...but it's pretty rare, and there really isn't a name for it." Then he rattled off the medically-confusing-not-really-a-name-term for it. He said it's basically where the connecting ligaments/tissues form lumps. This explains why they were so confused as to the location of the lump. Not in the breast. Not in the lymph nodes. Not really anywhere normal.
So there you go. It's almost a new year and my new year's hope is that we won't have to meet a deductible. (However, Kaden's tonsils aren't exactly cooperating with that hope...which is why it isn't a resolution.) :)
I've never liked shopping alone, but after the craziness of the last month it was just what I needed. As I was driving to Ross I got to thinking about the lump I had removed a week ago. I didn't think about it a whole lot until all the festivities were over and I didn't have distraction. Then every time I moved my arm and felt the incision I wondered. The surgeon had told me NOT to expect results before Wednesday because of the holidays, and his surgery days. So I prayed. During that prayer at some point I said something to the effect of "God, I really just want to know. Could you maybe have the surgeon call me today instead of tomorrow?" It was 4pm.
I went into Ross and as I was trying on some clothes my phone rang. It was the surgeon on his cell phone. He said "Hi Bethany?" "Yes" "I usually don't call on surgery days, but I thought I should call you." slight pause: (Heart fluttering...good news? bad news???? is it GOOD if the surgeon is doing something he normally wouldn't? Or is that bad???? AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!) "I have some good news....."
What an awesome God we serve! He answered my little teeny tiny prayer from way down here among millions of prayers...
Now, one thing you need to know is that at my appointment I asked "So I'll find out if I have cancer or not?" and the surgeon said "Yes, but you will also be given a name for exactly what it is." Cool. So...he says to me "I know I told you there would be a name for what you have...but it's pretty rare, and there really isn't a name for it." Then he rattled off the medically-confusing-not-really-a-name-term for it. He said it's basically where the connecting ligaments/tissues form lumps. This explains why they were so confused as to the location of the lump. Not in the breast. Not in the lymph nodes. Not really anywhere normal.
So there you go. It's almost a new year and my new year's hope is that we won't have to meet a deductible. (However, Kaden's tonsils aren't exactly cooperating with that hope...which is why it isn't a resolution.) :)
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Surgery Update (by the victim herself)
I can honestly say I wasn't expecting it to be this easy.
I hope I didn't speak too soon.
I was pretty nervous for my gallbladder surgery yesterday. I think I can honestly say I felt that people were praying for me even last night (the waiting game is almost the worst part!) and by evening I was relaxed completely! I slept WELL last night and that shocked me!
We got to the hospital around 6:45am to have them draw blood to test liver functions. Those turned out good, which meant the surgery would be less complicated. Praise the Lord! Then they did the whole rig-a-ma-role of getting me situated and telling me I could die and those things. I don't enjoy that part. I've kind of decided I'm a wimp about things...and I'm blaming that fact on the fact that I've never had a cavity/filling. Maybe if I'd had to endure minor things, these major wouldn't seem SO terrible? They gave me some anti-nausea meds because, they informed me, I am the right age and gender to be most likely to be sick after anetheisia. (Wonderful.) During that time my pastor came to visit. That was a surprise, and a nice visit to take my mind off things! Then they gave me the sedatives. YAY.FOR.SEDATIVES. I don't think I remember everything after that! And it doesn't bother me one bit! I do remember Gary praying with us :) (I had wondered if I would) and them taking me back to the OR...I don't know if I remember the whole trip there, but I do remember them moving me to the bed, and looking around thinking "I want to remember this, since, hopefully, it will be the only chance I get to be in an OR." So I looked at all the lights and felt how skinny the table was (they told me to make sure I was centered, lol...it was like just as wide as me!) Then thy told me to breathe in some oxygen. Now when I had my wisdom teeth removed they TOLD me when they were putting me to sleep. This time, either they tricked me, or I am not remembering them telling me. I took to deep breaths and the next thing I remember is waking up to the nurses talking about the fact that I was breastfeeding, as if that changed some med they were going to give me. They then made a call. My first thought was "did they not know that? Second thought: I sure hope they didn't find out because I leaked all over!" (TMI??? Gotta love the loopy drugs...at least I said nothing out loud.) So I asked for water, about 16 times. Until they finally told me I needed to take it slow in case I got sick.
Sooo tired. That's how I felt. No pain. No nausea, no nothing. They kept asking how my pain was and I kept saying I felt fine. I didn't want vicadin (sp?) but they acted like I was crazy and wasn't leaving unless I had some. So we compromised and I had half the dose. The nurse was great. She was very attentive and maybe thought I was being a martyr (painwise). I think she finally believed me after I went to the bathroom and asked to change into my clothes. She kept saying how I looked great and she surprised at how fast I was recovering from all the drugs. The vicadin (just half) did make me feel drunk...good thing I only had half! I haven't filled that prescription and am hoping Advil will do the trick. Thats what I've always done after having babies, which I realize is different, but still a major thing.
I got home around 11:30am...starving. So I ate and watched Chuck, and facebooked, etc. I haven't slept yet...I've felt like it sometimes, but not enough to think I actually would sleep well. I've even held my baby girl (on the left side!) and fed my baby boy some of my food (surprise.) :) It's 4pm now and I've taken more Advil, even though I wasn't feeling pain (yet?)...and I really feel great (considering the circumstances....)
Dr. says the first 3 days are the hardest, then just don't lift for 14 days. A little difficult with 2 little ones, but I have my mom and Luke's mom here to help!
Thank you to all who have been praying for me up until today and through today. I appreciate it, and like I said before, I know it was those prayers that calmed my nerves and spirit, and that are helping my recovery to be so uneventful! It is a blessing to have you all praying and caring!
I hope I didn't speak too soon.
I was pretty nervous for my gallbladder surgery yesterday. I think I can honestly say I felt that people were praying for me even last night (the waiting game is almost the worst part!) and by evening I was relaxed completely! I slept WELL last night and that shocked me!
We got to the hospital around 6:45am to have them draw blood to test liver functions. Those turned out good, which meant the surgery would be less complicated. Praise the Lord! Then they did the whole rig-a-ma-role of getting me situated and telling me I could die and those things. I don't enjoy that part. I've kind of decided I'm a wimp about things...and I'm blaming that fact on the fact that I've never had a cavity/filling. Maybe if I'd had to endure minor things, these major wouldn't seem SO terrible? They gave me some anti-nausea meds because, they informed me, I am the right age and gender to be most likely to be sick after anetheisia. (Wonderful.) During that time my pastor came to visit. That was a surprise, and a nice visit to take my mind off things! Then they gave me the sedatives. YAY.FOR.SEDATIVES. I don't think I remember everything after that! And it doesn't bother me one bit! I do remember Gary praying with us :) (I had wondered if I would) and them taking me back to the OR...I don't know if I remember the whole trip there, but I do remember them moving me to the bed, and looking around thinking "I want to remember this, since, hopefully, it will be the only chance I get to be in an OR." So I looked at all the lights and felt how skinny the table was (they told me to make sure I was centered, lol...it was like just as wide as me!) Then thy told me to breathe in some oxygen. Now when I had my wisdom teeth removed they TOLD me when they were putting me to sleep. This time, either they tricked me, or I am not remembering them telling me. I took to deep breaths and the next thing I remember is waking up to the nurses talking about the fact that I was breastfeeding, as if that changed some med they were going to give me. They then made a call. My first thought was "did they not know that? Second thought: I sure hope they didn't find out because I leaked all over!" (TMI??? Gotta love the loopy drugs...at least I said nothing out loud.) So I asked for water, about 16 times. Until they finally told me I needed to take it slow in case I got sick.
Sooo tired. That's how I felt. No pain. No nausea, no nothing. They kept asking how my pain was and I kept saying I felt fine. I didn't want vicadin (sp?) but they acted like I was crazy and wasn't leaving unless I had some. So we compromised and I had half the dose. The nurse was great. She was very attentive and maybe thought I was being a martyr (painwise). I think she finally believed me after I went to the bathroom and asked to change into my clothes. She kept saying how I looked great and she surprised at how fast I was recovering from all the drugs. The vicadin (just half) did make me feel drunk...good thing I only had half! I haven't filled that prescription and am hoping Advil will do the trick. Thats what I've always done after having babies, which I realize is different, but still a major thing.
I got home around 11:30am...starving. So I ate and watched Chuck, and facebooked, etc. I haven't slept yet...I've felt like it sometimes, but not enough to think I actually would sleep well. I've even held my baby girl (on the left side!) and fed my baby boy some of my food (surprise.) :) It's 4pm now and I've taken more Advil, even though I wasn't feeling pain (yet?)...and I really feel great (considering the circumstances....)
Dr. says the first 3 days are the hardest, then just don't lift for 14 days. A little difficult with 2 little ones, but I have my mom and Luke's mom here to help!
Thank you to all who have been praying for me up until today and through today. I appreciate it, and like I said before, I know it was those prayers that calmed my nerves and spirit, and that are helping my recovery to be so uneventful! It is a blessing to have you all praying and caring!
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