just a few of my thoughts this morning.

the randomness in my head: (a truly one thought in one hundred post.)

today 2 duplo blocks made it through the washer AND dryer cyle. They are clean though.

When Kaden says "sorry" to Kate, she cannot accept it without a hug. She will chase him down... (future reference for a VERY future hubby)

When I wash a load of jeans at least 1 pair of Kaden's underwear turn up. Today it was 3 pairs. I should check his jeans...

Kaden hates orange juice. it is the weirdest thing.

I cannot work well without my contacts in. No contacts = lazy. Is everyone with contacts (and fairly decent vision without them) that way?

one of those days...

You know those days when your kids fight all day inspite of all your efforts to maintain peace? Outside time (WITH Mom), trip to the library, suckers...etc.

And you don't really feel good, but why bother telling anyone that?

Then it also happens to be the day you babysit an extra kid for 6 hours.

Also, your not-yet-two-year-old has decided to potty train, so you're on your toes about that, also cleaning up after that...

Then you remember that your hubby isn't gonna be home tonight to take over and do baths/bedtime...

and then you can't find those IMPORTANT papers and search everywhere. (and i mean EVERYWHERE.)

It just seems like the perfect ending to that day would be to FIND THE PAPERS.

Well, it was that day. The kids are in bed now. The house is a disaster since I didn't feel like fighting them with the clean-up routine...the bath is drained but the bath toys are there, ready to surprise the first person in the morning... the kitchen is a wreck because for some reason i decided to make a dinner that required no fewer than FIVE pans at one time. And I still can't find those papers.

I JUST WANNA FIND THEM!!

(ok, getting over it.)

I'm so thankful for my two healthy little rascals...and all the "stuff" we are blessed with (even when I can't find said "stuff") and for a hubby that's almost always home to help in the evening, and for the ability to cook... and for the dishwasher that's running... and for the kids bedtime. Today I'm really thankful for that.

Some of what I never said...

I know I'm pregnant when: (first trimester)

I cut/color my hair totally different than ever before.
Baths are preferred to showers...every time.
I can go to bed at 7pm (6pm if I'm totally honest) and sleep all night. And take naps everyday.
I can't handle anything that remotely resembles ground beef or the smell thereof.
The golf ball that lives in my tailbone grows to the size of a tennis ball, and hurts worse too.
I can no longer drink my diet soda. or any soda...except on random days.
I eat more than 1 serving of pepperoni per week. (Ok, per day sometimes.)

The different: (as opposed to pregnancies with Kaden and Kate)
I can eat eggs! I can even FRY eggs. I can fry an egg AND eat it. Without throwing up. In fact, without FEELING like I'm going to throw up. Weird. I don't know what it means. I mean, if I had 2 boys I'd be sooo sure this was a girl. But I have a girl and a boy... so... what am I having? a boy or a girl..that apparently is ok with eggs.
I can get up out of bed without eating! This is exciting to me. Eating in bed is just ...kind of gross. Especially day after day. I love that I can get up without puking. love.love.love.
Tums is my new best friend. The kind of best friend you love to hate, yet hate to love.
Coffee. YES PLEASE. After like 8:30am. Starbucks? even better.
I think I'm really gonna like this kid.

Some cute things I haven't been allowed to share til today:

When I was about 9 weeks along, I had boxed up some clothes of Kate's she had outgrown and told Luke we were going to give them to a friend for her baby girl. At this time Kaden had not been TOLD we were expecting, but we had talked about it around him some. So he pipes up: "Aren't you going to save any clothes for OUR baby?" It was then I knew I am just lucky if no one finds out until we want them to! He hears/knows more than we want to think he does.

Kaden every morning: "Mom, are you feeling good today?" If mom says "pretty good" (which is the best it gets) then he asks "then i can climb on your stomach?" (because, naturally, that's what he should do if I feel good.) If I say "no, I'm not feeling good" he asks: "Is it going to be several YEARS before you feel good?" (Yes, Kaden, it's going to feel that long.)

When I went to my first OB appointment a friend came over to watch the kids for me. She asked why his mom needed to go to the dr. and he said "Cuz she's not feeling well everyday." Yes... he could have spilled the beans. Maybe he is wise beyond his years?

So far, I can't complain about this pregnancy. I've had my bad days, my good days and my in-between days. But even the bad days have been better than many of the days of my other pregnancies. I credit it to several things: 1- God. I prayed that I would not be able to get pregnant unless He was going to make it survivable. (I trusted Him to know what that meant...) 2- My gallbladder. I no longer have it. The doctors said I would notice a big difference in pregnancy. I was skeptical. No..that's not true. I was beyond skeptical. In fact, I just didn't believe them at all. I think I was wrong- and I'm totally ok with that. 3- the pill. The wonderful amazing nausea pill. I take one every night. If you know me, it's amazing that I remember to take a pill every single day. If I don't take it, I guarantee myself a bad day. (I only had to learn that lesson twice. the first time I thought it might be a fluke. the second time I considered it lesson learned.) If I do take the pill (which i always do), I might still have a bad day, but hey, I can still take 3 more pills! its a different one than I tried with Kate. I was allergic to that one....so it didn't really help at all.

I had my first OB appointment on Feb. 9th. Much earlier than I had hoped. (I guess with #3 I'm just not so excited about these appointments.) When I casually mentioned that I was a twin..and clarified "fraternal" I was immediately escorted to the ultrasound room. There were no twins... but I did find it amusing.(With the other two kids no one seemed to care that I'm a twin... why this time?) I found out we were dead on with the due date. I saw the heartbeat...172 bpm. I also found out I have a cyst on one of my ovaries. This is normal in the first trimester (who knew? apparently you learn something new with each pregnancy) What's not normal was how big it was. She said it wasn't HUGE, but it wasn't small....meaning they need to monitor it. Now, it really shouldn't surprise me. With each pregnancy there has been something to "monitor" (Kaden's was the placenta previa, Kate's was her underdeveloped bladder) both took care of themselves. I have a good track record...here's to hoping the cyst "takes care of itself". It does explain the little bits of pain now and then....although, I hadn't really thought much of it. It is pregnancy afterall.

I couldn't sleep from like 4-5am then the kids were up early. Kate woke up on the WRONG side of the bed, and I think she's helping everyone over to her side. Everytime Kate screams (not like a cry scream, but an "i don't want anyone to touch me" scream) I am ready to lose it. Her scream is my "crazy" button today. This is going to be an interesting day...

I think she averages one GOOD scream every 5 minutes, with the lame ones in between.

So basically, every five minutes I find myself crawling back from the edge of crazy.

To cope...right now, they are in their room and i have music so I can't hear the screams. I think we are gonna have to start consequences for this screaming...it is totally out of control. But I think we'll wait til tomorrow...when I'm a little less edgy about it (I hope.)

Thankfully (I think) I have a lot going on today... that should help.

Nothingness, really.

This is one of those truly "One Thought in a Hundred" posts, where for every sentence that is written there are about 100 more kept silent. I've been thinking so much about so many things lately...I think my brain might explode if I don't blog. But, I kind of hope nobody reads it and am wishing for the "private" setting I had back in the days of Xanga. (I feel old just writing that.)

Lately a lot of things have been going on. If I were to draw a synthetic chart of the last 4 months of my life the main themes would be "Dealing with conflict", "Dealing with whiners", and "Dealing with life."

I'll start with the last one. I am so.darn.busy. It is just crazy. And it's not necessarily the fact that I overcommitted myself as much as the fact that there is just more to my committments now than there were when I "signed up" ...for various reasons that I can't really get into publicly. If I make it through April/May having done a job well done in all areas of my busy, crazy life I am going to be PROUD. Right now, I'm aiming for Job Well Done and expecting to reach Job Done. THis is just a fact. Not a pity party. In fact, for the most part, I enjoy all that I do...as long as I have the energy!

Dealing with whiners... I'm not trying to be mean but HOLY MOLY. First let me say... Whiners is definitely the harsh term here. But I thought of "liars" too, and that seemed harsher.... but I have come to feel that a lot of the things we "vent", "whine" or otherwise "complain" about can be straight out lies. I have heard so much whining the past 4 months I'm ready to just poke my eardrums out. Granted, at least half the whining has been from my almost 21 month old daughter...and granted, that is expected... it sure doesn't help. The other half, I won't mention names, has come from various places, and it's not necessarily the whining that does me in...it's what we choose to whine about. I keep asking God why He chooses to bless us (any of us Americans, really!) when we WHINE about every.little.thing. Can't afford this (is that really true?). Didn't get my raise/bonus (Ok, so I can be guilty of that one). Can't afford that (because, you know, we NEED that material item so badly). Etc... etc... etc... And yet I look around and see how MUCH we have. And how much the same whiners seem to be blessed with inspite of the whining. I'm not gonna lie, it's hard not to be jealous. I even found myself wondering "Do I need to start whining more? It seems to be the perfect way to get what you wanted." But, I couldn't live with myself. I have friends who've lost babies, have kids with serious illnesses, who've lost their homes, and actually really can't afford LIFE... I think the rest of us need a spanking for being so stupid.

And lastly, dealing with conflict. This one has worn me down lately. It kinda goes hand in hand with the whining. And I'll be the first to admit I know I haven't handled everything/problem that's come my way exactly right...but the Lord knows I've tried. Sometimes it feels like people are looking for ways to be offended. I promise, when I don't sit next to you, it's not that I'm being a jerk. I really just wasn't thinking about the fact that you would be offended if I sat somewhere else. I wasn't trying to say you smell. I wasn't trying to send an invisible message. Promise. If I didn't call you back right away I promise it's not because I'm avoiding you (and if I am, just give me 2 hours..I'm probably just dealing with my whining daughter)...more likely it's because I've gotten (and tend to get) at least 18 phone calls every time I get in the shower or go into the other room, or someone is at my house and I can't answer. If I didn't respond to your facebook/email it's just because I hate responding to messages, or I don't know what I have to say, or honestly, I probably even (GASP) forgot! If I walked by you in Walmart the other day- sorry- I was on a mission. I normally am. Just ask Rachel O.. I think she could have spit on me in Albertsons the other day and I may not have noticed ...thankfully she just laughed at my complete dorkiness... It really seems that we need to take a step back from each situation and realize that we don't know what's going on in the other person's life... instead of coming to the conclusion that we should probably be incredibly offended by their (hardly offensive) behavior.

I know I can get better at these things. But, in the meantime, can we just put some big girl panties on and just assume the best? Going deeper...some of the conflict has been deeper. Whether it be family issues, or big mountains of "I didn't see that coming"... or whatever. Its not just me..I've seen conflict everywhere..it's crazy to me how we as Americans (or just people in general, probably) claim we "hate conflict" and yet we seem to do it SO much. It's just driving me nuts...

So, in order to turn this from a completely venting blog into something worth the last 5 minutes of my time..I'm going to tell you what I've decided from this... I can't handle it anymore. If you whine to me...I promise to listen with an open ear...but only to a point. Then I promise to be horribly honest...in a kind way...and I hope you can do the same for me. Lets don't fall together into that PIT. (I can totally understand a quick vent. But not a pit.) If you are offended by me, I challenge you to tell me, but please, first realize that I (and most ppl out there) don't go around seeking ways to offend people. Especially not my friends, or people I need to associate with regularly.

Really, I hope you didn't just read this..and if you did, that you'll give me a break. And if you read this, assume I'm not talking about you in this post. I'm not that dumb.

My laughs for the day

Kaden: "Excuse me." (this is what he normally says to get my attention)
Mom: "What?"
Kaden: "Excuse me."
Mom: "What, Kaders"
Kaden: "Excuse me."
Mom: "Kaden, WHAT?"
Kaden: "Oh I was just burping a lot.... Mom when I burp I say excuse me."
Mom: "Oh, ok...that's good."
Kaden: "Mom, Roslyn can't talk so she uses her burp cloth to cover her burps."

Kaden: "Mom, can you untangle this for me?"
Mom: "Sure, will you go get my purse off the table while I do that?"
Kaden comes back empty handed.
Mom: "Did you get my purse?"
Kaden: "Yep, it's on the floor!"
Thanks Kaden, I guess I should have been more clear.

Christmas letter 2011

Some of you will get this in the mail, but here it is for the rest of you!

Dear friends and family, Dec 24, ’11
Merry Christmas and, by the time you all read this, Happy New Year! This year has been busy and GOOD. We are so thankful for the health we have had, and the ways God has provided.
Katelyn is now 20 months old. She loves dolls, coloring (or anything to do at the table!), and teasing her brother. She has mastered the art of grabbing his toy and taking off in record speeds. It has been so fun to see them play and interact more as she gets older. Katelyn still refuses to talk for the most part…although “Uh Uh” (her “no”) is common, and every once in a while you might hear an “Uh oh” slip out. We think she’s saving up to surprise us with full sentences one of these days. In the meantime, in order to relieve some frustration that comes with the lack of words, we have taught her some sign language. She loves it. In a month she learned “please”, “all done”, “more” (we didn’t even want her to learn that one-she picked it up at church!), “help”, “drink” and a few others. We see significantly fewer fits and tantrums because she feels like she has the ability to communicate! She has 2 speech therapists that she meets with and they are constantly amazed at her fine motor skills (she can put together puzzles, match colors, etc NO problem) and attention span (she’ll sit and play at the table for a couple hours at a time), and are not worried about her speech development at all.
Kaden (3 ½) is still our talker. He talks so much he runs out of things to say, and then he’ll ask me what else he should talk about. Often we will wake up to him standing by us asking if he can talk about breakfast. He loves food. He’s a growing boy and manages to put away amazing amounts of food. He also loves anything trains, and has somehow managed to amass quite the collection of wooden train tracks. One can no longer visit the Antonich’s without being introduced to his trains. This year Kaden got to join the AWANA Cubbies program, and just recently started attending Children’s church. He loves them! He also took 5 weeks of swimming lessons and passed his class on the first try! He loves to hang out under water! He also recently gave up napping. (Sad day!) In March, he had surgery to have his tonsils and adnoids removed. We are amazed at how it changed his voice…he no longer sounds like he’s talking around a golf ball! It has changed his life-as now he can breathe when he runs, sleep through the night, and hasn’t had antibiotics even ONCE since the surgery! We can’t believe we ever wondered if he need them taken out!
Luke has kept very busy at work with PCA this year. He just ended his “outside work” for the “summer” about 2 weeks ago, and is now back in the office already feeling behind on his designs for next summer! We are thankful for the work, but looking forward to vacation time this spring!!! Luke still sings in the choir at church, has led worship several times this year, and is on several committees. He just started league basketball this month and is enjoying that a lot. He had surgery this month to remove a mole on his nose (yes, surgery for that) and that was his contribution to our deductibles!  (We are ready to be done with surgeries for a while!) His project for the house this year was to finish our dining room (it looks BEAUTIFUL!) and keep on top of the contractors who finally got our new siding put on! We love it! He also installed 4 new windows (all new windows now!) and we are hoping we are done with the major house repairs for a while! Maybe now he’ll have time to finish the garage that he has insulated/painted and needs to build work benches for!
Bethany keeps busy being mom, cook, wife, and referee (for the kids!). She is still working as a Pampered Chef consultant with 2 cooking clubs per month. She still directs the church nursery and in August, she added 2-3 five hour days a week of babysitting a baby girl who is now 6 months old. In September, she (reluctantly) agreed to co-coordinate the local MOPS group. It has been a challenge- to say the least- and a learning experience. Thankfully, the challenge has been fairly enjoyable – and she has learned a lot about her leadership style, as well as gained many new friends! This year she also (again, reluctantly) co-directed VBS at our church. This too was a challenge, and very rewarding…she is looking forward to doing it again this summer. She is trying to learn not to be so reluctant about these things! She also organizes a “monthly” (more like every 6 weeks) Craft Saturday at church where she enjoys working on Kaden and Kate’s scrapbooks and hanging out with friends while Luke cares for the kids.
In June, Bethany and the kids took a trip to Denver to celebrate Rachel Allen’s 30th birthday. It was a fun week filled with zoos, pools, trains, food, and more! Kaden still talks about it often! In July, we headed to Bethany’s parents house to help them paint their house, then Bethany and the kids got to visit with family friends in Butte for a few days. In October, more family friends- Bill and Nate Allen- visited again from Arkansas to hunt for a few days. We sure enjoy having them around (and think they need to move here).  When we return home from Christmas vacation we look forward to having a college student- Allison- move in with us for the next 4 months while she student teaches in Gillette.
As we get ready to open presents tomorrow we have been frequently explaining to Kaden why it is that we get to have this holiday called Christmas. He has helped us see this Christmas story through the eyes of a child and we hope that you also can take the time to go back to the basics of Christmas! It truly is amazing that a great big God sent His Son to earth on Christmas day just because He loved us so much. Now that’s something to celebrate!
Love from the Antonich’s


Kaden Kwotes:
Kaden: What are we having for breakfast? Mom: Worms and alligator tongues!
Kaden: (the beginnings of a fit) I don't WANT that! I want YOGURT and alligator tongues!
• Kaden stopped dead in his tracks, looked around...then said "I just forgot myself.... MOM! what was I going to say?"
• Kaden: "I found a chocolate chip under the stove. ...sooooo I kinda ate it."
• "Mom, if some little Katelyn chewed on this and ruined it, I'd be sooooo sad." –Kaden (as if I don’t know which Katelyn he might be talking about…)
• Kaden- to Katelyn as she scratched his legs- "Katelyn no more scratching. STOP scratching" slight pause..."No scratching! I CAN SCRATCH MYSELF!"
• "Mom, when I get a little bit bigger, and that tree gets a little bit smaller, THEN I'm going to climb up it!" –Kaden
• "Good morning Mom! Time to get up?" ~ Kaden, 15 minutes after going to bed. (I was almost convinced…)
• Kaden: “Dad can I have a bath when we get home?” Dad: “No, Kaden, it’s bedtime.” Kaden (in a serious voice): “JUST because I WANT something, doesn’t mean you always have to say NO!” (He got a short bath…it WAS a pretty good argument.)