Today I am having a lump removed from my shoulder area. The doctors are saying they don't think it's a high risk thing since it's not in the lymph nodes or breast, but the fact that after thinking he didn't want to take it out, to changing his mind RIGHT after feeling/seeing it makes me nervous. I'm nervous. It's not very easy for me to admit that normally. Lately, after so many doctors/tests/etc..I've gotten good at waiting for results. But it seems like the results keep getting more and more "iffy" and the waiting gets longer and longer. God has really been teaching me patience. But most of all He's been teaching me to trust. Not just Him either. Actually, through everything I feel like I've trusted God and His sovereignty easier than I've trusted doctor's and their tests. And more than I've trusted my friends/family with even the knowledge of what we've been facing. I talked to my brother who's here, and who watched my kids for the appointment this morning, and he didn't even know what my appointment was for. For all he knew it was just a yearly physical, or a sore throat....until someone asked him if I'd had my "surgery" yet. He thought they were asking about my gallbladder back in July. In fact, besides Luke's parents (which have only known for a day or 2) I don't know if any of his family knows, and my parents are the only ones in my family. After that discussion I started realizing that in uncertain circumstances it's important to trust in our almighty God....but there is a lot to be said for allowing people into my life to pray for me. Sure, I've let a few people know. a VERY few. and even they didn't know right away. I want to be someone who trusts God and people enough to share my struggles, even though it's hard to be transparent like that. Especially with my own family who would be more than happy to pray for me.

Also, I'll know the results next week sometime. I'll post as soon as I know, so you don't have to wonder if I have cancer!!!